Loud Whispers with Joseph Edgar

Obafemi Hamzat: Lagos Best Bet?

I believe that true reforms in our country can only come from the inside. Before you scream, listen – the APC is so entrenched that nothing short of a full-scale war can dislodge them. Their entrenchment has come with so many things that I can’t mention here, but has equally thrown up a Sodom and Gomorrah scenario.

A Sodom and Gomorrah scenario is when man asked God, “What if there was one good person there, nko, will you still destroy the place?” So, for me, I look for that one good person and work with the person and hope that eventually reforms will come through.

We have achieved slow success. See how Ambode turned Lagos into an infrastructural wonder, and see how Sanwo-Olu moved, especially in taking on the establishment with his reforms and in all of these, Hamzat was in there serving these ‘reformist’ administrations.

Hamzat seems to have a serious approach to governance, clarity in the objective, ability to push cohesion to deliver for the common man, humility, concise and engaging policy formulation and execution and more.

Lagos truly deserves the very best in leadership because of its very complex challenges and its growing population, and for its very socio-economic importance not only to Africa but to the world. Of all the candidates presently thrown up, Hamzat seems the best possible choice for a serious engagement with Lagos and its many problems. Thank you.

President Tinubu: I am Confused

Another $7billion borrowing? Bringing the total to a whopping N29 trillion in borrowings. It is no wonder Atiku has called it an election slush fund.

Even I, sitting here, I don tire, I swear. How do you run a government by borrowing up and down without even looking at slowing down the government? The cost of government is still crazy high, compounded by loopholes and leakages being exploited by everyone. Parastatals run like casinos in Las Vegas and white elephant projects everywhere, with no end game in sight. See, just one Ebola, and we have thrown N10billion at it, and now the woman has carried her wahala to her country, and we don’t know if the funds were already disbursed and, if so, what will happen to it?

Why all these borrowings? The whole thing is now so scary. What is the collateralisation? The same crude oil? Na wa o, and Akpabio and his merry men will just be bowing and signing off.

Mr. President, haven’t you heard of austerity measures? Mbok, please slow down; some of us still have children and grandchildren. If you are not thinking about our generation, please think of the upcoming ones. What legacy would you be leaving for them? Kai!

Peter Obi: Please Take It Easy

When President Bola Tinubu said he would campaign in only 12 states, we all screamed. You see why his people always say that he is a master strategist. The man understands what they call pacing. He has looked at the voting blocks and decided to pace himself and be strategic. Why waste my time and little energy in a state where even if I get 100% of votes there will not help my case or in a state where I have it in full control. Why not concentrate on the areas that are swing states or not yet captured? This is how brilliant politicians play.

But our “messiah” is running around, playing to the gallery and now exhausted. From burial ceremonies, to the opening of a spare parts shop in Abiriba and back to a naming ceremony in Sokoto, Mr. Obi is everywhere, and now he has lost steam.

He had better calm down and slow down and be strategic in his moves so that he does not physically burn out. The thing is evident in his speeches and engagements, as he is now making mistakes, contradicting himself, and just talking anyhow.

He should take two weeks off, disconnect, fly to an island with his Gucci bag-loving wife and rest. Rest so that by the time he comes back, he will be full of energy because the journey is long and tedious.

Sorry, my brother, please check your blood pressure regularly, drink a lot of water, have sex and just calm down. Nigeria is going nowhere; it is not a matter of life and death.

With or without you, our sufferings will continue. Just do your own and leave the rest. Thank you.

Bimbo Ashiru: The Man, His Network and His Contributions

I have worked very closely with Otunba Bimbo Ashiru in the last one month. I have spoken to him like five times a day during the period, visited him almost on a daily basis and engaged with him. I have watched him in meetings and seen how he has built a solid reputation enmeshed with positive goodwill.

Otunba comes from the very well-respected Ashiru family, a family that has produced some very prominent Nigerians, and he has parlayed all of that to a position of influence that is nothing but very remarkable.

I sit down and listen to his phone calls – from the top, to state governors, prominent politicians, captains of industry, and all remain just one phone call away. It is no wonder that he is a permanent fixture on speaking podiums.

Otunba is in great demand to speak or attend one Masterclass or the other, and this is simply because, unlike the vast majority, he bestrides the world of politics and business with so much gusto. He is on the Board of over 16 companies.

Otunba had just come out of his lavish room at the Transcorp Hilton hotel, wearing an expensive and elegant-looking black loafer with green soles, and I asked him to ‘dash’ me the loafers but pretended not to hear. I asked a second time, and he still ignored me. Refusing to give up, I held his cloth and repeated, and he still did, like the network was not working. At this point, I began to wonder what kind of Otunba is this na. If this was MKO Abiola, he would have removed it and given me straight; now see this Ijebu Otunba behaving as if I am using a NITEL phone to call him because he does not want to give me shoes.

So, there you have it, the only one negative on this super beautiful Nigerian. It is no wonder that the 100-year-old Daily Times recently gave him the Changemaker Award. Brilliant.

Biodun Oyebanji: Running With a Winning Team

I have not reached out to my egbon, the brilliant governor of my adopted state, Ekiti, for a while. Bro, how have you been? Long, long time.

I recently received good news from my brother Niran Olatana on his reappointment as the State Chairman of its Revenue Service. Niran’s appointment did not come as a surprise, as his tenure has seen the quadrupling of the state’s internally generated revenue from a paltry N650million to over N3billion monthly. His reappointment evoked a lot of jubilation as his staff went out in song and dance on the streets.

While I was still ruminating about Niran, I also heard that my other brother Akin Oyebode has also been reappointed Commissioner of Finance. I am sure that with this appointment, Akin should immediately be seen as the longest-serving in this position in the country. His longevity is nothing but competence. If you know Akin very well, who is nephew to the great Gbenga Oyebode, you will not blame Governor Oyebanji for sticking to him.

There is nothing wrong with sticking with a winning team, especially one that comes with competence, passion and integrity. See ehn, Niran and Akin are two people that I can vouch for when it comes to integrity, and this shows very well in Oyebanji’s approach to public service because if he too were not a man of integrity, he would not put ram road honest people in these two very sensitive positions.

Congratulations, Your Excellency, on these reappointments. You are on the right path. As soon as I find time, I will come and visit you guys, but please no pounded yam again o. The thing used to give me constipation, Your Excellency. Just try, there must be someone in the whole of Ado-Ekiti that can cook afang na. Kai.

Bisi Adebutu: A Good Samaritan in Jeopardy

During the week, famous international investigative Reporter David Hundeyin reached out to me. He came out of hiding – you know he is under state protection in a West African country. “Edgar, I have been approached to investigate a matter, and I have heard that you are close to the matter.”

I panicked o. Me that I just wrote a sponsorship proposal to President Tinubu. This one wants to come and scatter it for me – you know how the enemy of my friend is my enemy- that is what Tinubu will do when he finds out that I am talking to this one in the night.

I rushed into the toilet to take his calls before my APC neighbours would hear me and report. “Bro, what is the issue?” I whispered, and he said, it is the matter between Bisi Adebutu and one “boy”. I just hissed.

My brother, they approached me to enter the matter. I went to beg Bisi to calm down, and they secretly recorded me and took the recording to court. My brother, imagine that rubbish, me that was begging on their behalf.

Apparently, these very scrupulous people had approached the brilliant Bisi Adebutu for a loan. Bisi preferred equity, and they took $1.5million from him and started doing “sarewagba” with him. Bisi dropped his assets as collateral, and now they have done “gbajue” for him, and the case landed at the EFCC, and they are now playing the ethnic card.

Ohhh, Bisi is using Yoruba to bully them; his father is Baba Ijebu, and that is why they have stolen our brother’s company and jailed him; IPOB will enter the matter, etc.

My brother, I have removed my hand, even though my sentiments are with Bisi, who has not only lost that whopping sum but has had his credit rating scattered by these people, I concluded. The man now said, Edgar, let me shock you. They have sent your recording to me too. Kai, I screamed. I thank God it is not my sex tape. These people would have shown the whole world my prized jewels. They should just go and face their fire; I am not their problem.

Me, the day I jam that their sister, the one that recorded me, I will do her something strong and hand myself over to the nearest female police officer to detain me. Thank you.

Kemi Badenoch: Not Our Child

My visa will soon expire, and I will be going for renewal, so I have to choose my words.

Till today, we don’t know why Trump cancelled my visa. That one is okay because I no kuku get money to buy that ticket, but this one, let me be cautious.

But this Kemi person just hits me totally differently. The way she talks sef, she will be doing mouth like those annoying brats that used to report us in primary school to wicked teachers. Her latest tirade on the slave trade is the lowest. That Britain should not pay reparations and that it is our fault that we were commodified and sold like geisha fish to them.

This one is crazy o, and I am very happy; shebi it is them that left very serious people this country has donated to them and picked this one to integrate and make her their conservative leader.

I wish them well; it is when they eventually make her their Prime Minister that they will know the market that they have bought. This one will slap King Charles one day in a fit o. This is the kind of Kemi we used to call “kemo la kan” in Shomolu those days. Na real “Kemo la kan”. Kai!

Jimi Odukoya: A Marriage in Controversy

Aburo got married and got Pastor Tunde Bakare to bless his marriage. Pastor Bakare, just recovering from a failed attempt at career change, came out of his hibernation to bless the union, and since then, Christendom has gone into a meltdown.

“Oh, you cannot remarry with your ex-wife still alive,” some Christians railed. “She even wore a nose ring,” others screamed, “and he is wearing an earring and has a tattoo and ‘dada.’”

My position is clear – hypocrisy. If this were their blood brother, would they support him at a very young age, never to remarry again? Would they prefer him to scourge the choir like some of his colleagues are doing?

The man, knowing that he cannot “hold” it, went and got a wife, which is a beautiful thing, and they are still shouting. What kind of people are these so-called “Christians”? This same Bible has King David and Solomon, who were very creative in their philandering ooo and yet this young man picks only one, and there is bedlam.

Mbok, let me send my encouragement and blessings to the new Pastor and Pastor Mrs. Jimi Odukoya. After all, them Oshoffa had plenty, and they are in heaven today. Mbok, enjoy your life; you have only one life to live. Where is the party, abeg?